That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
