my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just want nice things and good sex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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