Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
