It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I could make wine with my vomit
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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