Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
