also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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