? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
