Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
