Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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