my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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