Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
