he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
