Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
