So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
