Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
