i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize