He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize