i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
