Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
