Kiss
Puke
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Still dying that you shit outside
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
