I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
