I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
