I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need water and some morals
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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