I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
