My nipple is on Facebook.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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