Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize