I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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