i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
