wakey wakey hands off snakey
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
