So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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