What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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