found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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