Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
