I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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