Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
its not stalking. its research.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
