I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize