question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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