You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
