you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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