I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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