butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
