nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
