Acid is not a monday night drug
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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