he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't notice because vodka
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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