I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize