There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
