I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
