Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
