Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize