READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
