And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
