You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
