where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
