yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
