wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize