It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
