His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
