I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize