super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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