I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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